Sometimes you meet someone and you just know that your personalities click, that the chemistry is there, and that they are going to be important to you in an assortment of ways. A lot of the time, you can’t help who you end up falling for. However, what happens when you find out that the person you care about is a drug addict? Is it a good idea to be in a relationship with them? Is it even possible? Here are a few things to consider before making your relationship with an addict serious.
Addiction Is Not Confined To The Addict
Before you enter into a potential relationship with an addict, one thing you must heavily consider is that their use will affect every aspect of their own life, which includes you. When it comes to drug abusers and their habits, their own problems with drugs and alcohol will affect you as well. Addiction affects spouses, family members, children, co-workers, and friends. Often, people say that the one who suffers the most from drug abuse isn’t the abuser themselves, but rather their partner.
Having an addiction messes with everything, from every day life events to the small details. Drugs can cloud judgment, leading to more fights and arguments. Their monetary situation can be precarious because they are spending much of their income feeding their addiction. Drug use can skew their ability to understand responsibilities, making them unable to keep a job, remember important dates, or take good care of children if they are involved. There is a long list of all the negative effects that come with using, and they will affect your life as well.
Realize Resentment Can Form
When your significant other begins to let you down in all these different areas of life, it can create emotional distancing between the two of you. Because you aren’t being treated fairly or considerately, you begin to feel unappreciated. It may seem as if the drugs matter more to the addict than you do, and in some cases that is accurate. Unfortunately, when you begin to feel second tier, you begin to harbor resentment towards that person. This leads to more arguments, fights, and misunderstandings. This can be a vicious cycle for the addict because they may take even more drugs to cope with the emotional responsibilities, thus making things even worse. It’s a very hard pattern to get out of for good.
It is your job to not be tolerant or lackadaisical about his or her drug use. If you do care about their well-being, then it is up to you to communicate that through holding true to your conviction that they should get help. It is almost impossible to have an adult relationship and be able to manage decisions, emotions, and discussions in a mature and intelligent manner when also inebriated.
Not only can resentment form, but also feelings of depression, anger, and loneliness can come to a head on your part. Entering into a relationship with a drug addict is an experience where they will only take and you’ll continue to give until you have nothing left. You may even lose trust in them if you find that they are continually promising to quit and then don’t. Not having trust in a relationship is a recipe for disaster.
Warning Signs – It’s Time To Leave
Because of clouded judgment from substance abuse, drug and alcohol addicts are more likely to become violent when under the influence. Make sure that if you ever find yourself in a dangerous environment you leave and get help.
If you approach them about their drug and alcohol abuse and they lash out or pull away, realize that their addiction is possibly shameful to them or making them feel guilty. If they aren’t ready to discuss their problem with you, then they probably aren’t ready for an open and committed relationship.
If they expect you to cover for them when they are hung over or strung out, or if they expect you to enable their habits, either by buying the substance yourself or giving them the money to do so, they may just be using you as a means to an end rather than appreciating the relationship for what it is. When they are involved with drugs, they cannot be fully involved and committed to you. This means lying, hiding, and being shady about their drug use in general, which creates distrust and suspicion between the two partners.
If the person you are dating acts one way under the influence of drugs and another when sober, it can be hard to know what characteristics belong to the actual person and which are due to substance abuse. This can lead to unrealistic expectations, confusion, and general disappointment. When someone is under the influence, you can never truly understand where the line is between them and the drugs.
Treatment Can Help – If They Are Willing
If your significant other is open to discussing their addiction and seems willing to consider rehabilitation, treatment is a big stepping stone on the road to recovery. Your support and care can really be a guiding effort to get them on the right path. It’s not an easy journey, but if you feel strongly enough, being part of the recovery process can bring the two of you even closer together, as you will be their support system.
However, if they refuse to seek help, don’t be afraid to leave the relationship. Don’t let the addict suck you dry, using up all your compassion, trust, and love. It is not your fault that they are abusing drugs and alcohol; it is purely on their shoulders. It is not your responsibility to stay with them, but rather to do what is best for yourself. Don’t continue the relationship due to guilt or the belief that they will die without you. You don’t need to be their rescuer or the victim. Instead, if you are not being treated as an equal in the relationship, it’s time to leave.
Get Help And Advice At DrugRehab.org
If you find yourself in a relationship with an addict and are looking for help, we can provide assistance. Here at DrugRehab.org, we have information on treatment plans and rehabilitation centers in your area for your significant other, as well as family, spouse, or significant other therapy. In the fight again addiction, you must realize that you are not alone; contact us today.